Couples finances - update

This is a quick update to this post on how to handle couples finances.

I broached the idea of having a talk about how to handle the joint finances with the gf and it went well! We will be moving back together in March. I suggested that we figure out what our personal financial goals (of all sorts) are so that we can come to an agreement as to what we want to do together.

I am glad that it went well. For so long, I held onto the finance reins with an iron fist. I realised, though, that my method for handling the finances was not good for couple financial sanity, so I'm looking at it differently. And now that she is on her own, she has her personal goals and does not want to give up control. But, with my new approach, she was open to talking about things and coming up with joint goals.

It's really cool to see how far she's come with respect to her finances. She is doing a budget, starting to live within her means, and planning for the future. It's really exciting.



D said...

Talking is the best thing for both of you. Communication and money do not always go hand in hand for people, thus divorces/fights/separations that stem from money issues are common. I think you are on the right path. Initiating a plan together, is the only way to go.

What I would suggest is to be patient and understanding when things don't go as planned. Remember we are all human. When one of you slides, the other needs to be understanding, and both need to take steps to get back in line.

Also, make attainable goals, that both of you can "live" with. Money is a tool, but "living" is important.

btc said...

This post made me realize how important choosing the right partner is in reaching your financial goals. It doesn't sound romantic, but it's true. I'm starting to get my act together on my own, but what if I get involved with someone who doesn't have the same financial priorities I do? As if dating isn't complicated enough!!!

Clink said...

d - thanks for the comments. It's good to have a reminder that the plan does not always work and, as such, patience and understanding are VERY important. We are learning that with respect to EVERYTHING in our relationship.

btc - You know, I have a different view than some people. If you love the person, it doesn't matter what their financial position is, you just make it work. With that said, however, you don't go into the situation blindly and you always protect yourself. My gf had awful financial practices and got herself into a buttload of debt, but with my examples and prodding, she is coming around. In the meantime, we kept all credit-affecting things separate, until I felt comfortable. I told her, if we want to get a house together, your credit has to be impeccable or your name doesn't go on it and that is something VERY impt in a relationship like mine.

WHOA - long comment/response. Maybe I'll turn it into a post. THanks y'all.